The Day My Father Said Good-Bye

Betty Dewhirst

Recently I was sharing with two friends and they suggested that I might want to share with you what I had related to them.  As I thought about it later, I decided to do so, hoping that the Holy Spirit would minister to others that are in a time of grieving over the loss of a loved one.

First of all, I would like to give you some background of where our family was at that time in our lives so you will be able to have a clearer picture of everything.

It was the summer of 1974, and my husband, Stuart, and I, along with our five children, were traveling from New York back to Eugene, Oregon.  We had left Oregon several years earlier and had moved across the country to Lima, New York, because my husband had accepted a teaching position at Elim Bible Institute.  There was some sadness in our hearts as we left Elim, for it had been a life-changing experience for our whole family.  Yet, we knew we were to return to the west coast.

These were the years of the Charismatic renewal and we had seen a powerful move of the Holy Spirit as the Elim Choir had ministered on tour.  It was a very sovereign move of the Holy Spirit.  We had regrets about leaving, but at the same time we also knew that it was in God’s timing and by His leading that we were returning to our former home.

Of course, the kids were all looking forward to seeing their old friends again and catching up where they had left off.  Stuart and I had mixed emotions, but, at the same time we, too, were excited about relocating and moving into a new home and all that goes with that.

Just prior to our leaving New York, we received word that my Dad was sick and  had been diagnosed with cancer.  This weighed heavy on our hearts, but we were praying for Dad’s salvation and for his physical healing as well.  My folks lived in California and we already had plans to visit them as soon as we were settled in Oregon.

As it was, Stuart was thrust into his new position at the church.  We realized that it would be better if he did not leave at that time.  So he stayed behind with the other four children, and my youngest son Jeff and I, drove down to California to see my parents.

Dad was now in the hospital recuperating from surgery.  They opened him up, only to discover that there was nothing they could do as the cancer was in the pleural membrane lining of the lung and inoperable.

Back then, children were not usually allowed in the hospital.  But, I wanted Jeff to be able to see his Grandfather so I took him in with me hoping that no one would say anything.  As it was, they didn’t mind, and I was so thankful that Jeff was able to see Dad.  I didn’t know at that time it would be the last time they would see each other on this side.

I prayed with Dad and asked him if he knew the Lord.  He responded, “Oh yeh!”  But, I did not have a witness in my heart that he really did.  We stayed a few days visiting with Mom and other family members and then we drove back to Oregon.

We began to pray in faith for his salvation and his healing!  We would have loved to have seen him healed, but it didn’t happen!  There are some things this side of the veil that we never will understand…but when we see Jesus, we will understand it all!

Several months went by and Mom felt it would be best that we not come for a visit until Dad was feeling better.  So, we abided by her wishes.  We were all hoping and praying that his health would improve.

However, it wasn’t long until one day we received the call that Dad was gone!  From the time they knew what the disease was until his death was only six months.

Stuart’s mother and grandmother were visiting us at the time we got the call.   They had come to Oregon for our oldest son Steve’s graduation from high school.  So, before we were able to make it to Hanford, where the funeral would be held, it was necessary for us to drive Granny Ross to Grass Valley to her dear friend Ida’s home.  Then, I believe, Mom went ahead and traveled to Vista, California, where she lived.

I am telling you this so you will understand the hustle and bustle we encountered while trying to make it to the funeral on time.  We had left Oregon after the graduation ceremony and had driven all night.  We arrived at my Mom’s home barely in time to make it to the funeral.  We quickly changed our clothes and hurriedly drove to the funeral parlor.

As the pastor was speaking, he shared something that really was amazing and I could hardly wait to talk to Mom after the service and get clarification.  We had not had time to talk prior to the service.

When we were finally able to talk with her, we were thrilled at what she told us.  Now, remember, we had been praying and believing for God to work in Dad’s heart those few months prior to his death.

The last month or so of Dad’s life, he was very weak and finally reached the point where he could not even speak.  So, if he wanted something, he would write it on a napkin or paper.  He eventually got to the point where he could not even write.  Dad was so weak that he could not sit up.  I am relating this so you can see the greatness of what the Lord did!

The last day of his life, Mom was with him at the hospital and a male nurse was giving him a breathing treatment.  Mom turned to the nurse and said, “I think he is going!”  The nurse asked Mom if there was anyone she would like to call.  She asked the nurse to call my brother since he was living in Fresno, where the hospital was located.

Now, remember, Dad was not able to lift his head, sit up or speak.  The nurse left the room.  All of a sudden Dad sat up, dangled his feet over the edge of the bed, lifted his arm up pointing toward Heaven and declared with a loud voice, “It’s all right, I’m okay now!”  And with that, he laid back down and was ushered into the Presence of the Lord!

Mom said, “The Presence of God filled the room!”  I said, “Yes, it was the Holy Spirit!”  Just imagine the angels that must have been there as well!

This was the day Dad said goodbye!  What a glorious testimony of the goodness of the Lord!  We don’t understand all things, but we know that God is good.  He is not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance!  Never give up or stop praying for your unsaved loved ones.

2 Peter 3:9 KJV —“The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.”

What a marvelous sign God gave us so we would know that Dad was with the Lord!

2 thoughts on “The Day My Father Said Good-Bye

  1. I am grateful that I was able to see my Grandpa Shore before he ‘graduated’. Yes, I am that 12 year old boy mentioned above. Thank you Mom for making that last get together possible. Oh to shed this garment of mortality to embrace the eternal, that is my desire! We must keep hope alive even in the midst of cancer and the fear,disbelief and pessimism that pervades hospitals worldwide. I currently have a friend that is dying of pancreatic cancer and I am trusting God to somehow, someway break through the barrier of demonic unbelief that would love to drag him away eternally from our Lord Jesus. Here is that letter that I believe the Lord directed me to write:

    To my Dear Friend Vince, January 31, 2015
    What can I say to a man that has shown nothing but kindness to me since we met? I appreciate your genuine friendship and your heart of love that I have seen between you and your daughters Jess, Amanda and Becca. I love the old ‘Ranger Vince’ pictures of you when they were young. Truly love conquers all. You are my elder and I look up to you as a man and respect you. Thank you for your gentleness as that is one of the fruits of the spirit mentioned in the Bible in Galatians 5:22. I cannot imagine being of your stature and being able to harness your feelings when God made you so large, so strong, so tall. Thank you for being a gentle giant to so many of us.

    I also have enjoyed greatly our shared passion of history and your keen interest in the Civil War. Many great lessons learned from that part of our history. You have told me that you have enjoyed my posts on facebook and many of them have been centered around my faith in Christ. I have never really had an in depth discussion with you about where you stand with the Lord Jesus Christ but this is certain, I have never heard you deny him or confess him.

    It is for this reason today I write you this letter, to be certain of your faith Vince. I have asked God to help me to find the courage to share with you and I have also asked him to give me a specific word from him to you. Many are praying for you, including many of my relatives. Here is what I believe God has shown me for you:
    When Christ was being crucified on the cross there were two thieves also, one on either side being crucified as well. This represents humanity and how it must choose to defend Christ or to attack him. It is one or the other, heaven or hell. No DMZ in these matters. In Luke’s Gospel, Chapter 23 we see the two thieves crucified next to Christ. The one thief who did not believe, railed on Christ and said “If you are the Christ then save yourself and us”. The other thief responded by saying: “Don’t you fear God even when we are condemned?” (He Respected and revered God) He also said, we are getting what we deserve but he has done nothing wrong (he defended Christ) then he asked Jesus to remember him when you come into your kingdom. ( He personally asked Christ to remember him and acknowledged him as God and King)

    This is what God seeks of those who love him. To respectfully fear God, To defend his name before mankind, and to desire to be with him in Heaven. I believe this is what you need to acknowledge my friend if you have not already. I want to be sure that you have made your peace with Jesus and that his blood that was shed on the cross has forgiven you as that is the only way any of us have a chance to be with him forever. It is not based on our goodness alone but that must be coupled up with his blood that makes us worthy to be with him.
    Romans 10 says “If we confess with our mouth and believe in our heart that God has raised Jesus from the dead, we shall be saved. It also says that whosoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.

    Christ is called the Lamb of God that takes away the sin of the whole world and his word says that If we confess our sin, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. He promises to cleanse us and he also says that as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our sins from us.

    I write this to you from a heart of love today and want to be sure my friend that you are at peace with God this day and that I will see you in Heaven someday.

    Most Sincerely,

    Your friend, Jeff Dahl

  2. that story just fills my heart with joy. i was able to bring my mother to the Lord about 6 months before she died, so I know how important that was to you and what joy it brings to you. We surely will see our loved ones someday and what a happy and wonderful time that will be…Bless you for sharing

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